“All relationships depend on forgiveness… How, in our deepest relationships, can we forge ahead from pain toward healing, from sadness to renewal?”— Dr Elliot Malamet

Is there a relationship in your life that needs mending?

This episode of Living Jewishly is an instalment of Crossing the Sea, a podcast that explores Judaism and mental health.

Yom Kippur is a time of atonement in which we challenge accountable actions.

The High Holidays are also a period of reflection and inner work, as we work toward forgiveness for these flaws and mistakes — both in terms of our relationships with others and with ourselves.

Humans are storytellers. When we feel hurt, betrayed, or wronged, we firstly need to find an explanation for the betrayal… and this often involves blaming ourselves or others.

In this episode, you’ll hear several accounts of forgiveness framed within the tellers’ relationship with Judaism.

From finding empowerment in changing our story, repairing by communicating our hurt, and choosing redemption, the stories shared reveal how we must transform ourselves, emotionally and spiritually, to fix relationships and hopefully make them whole again.

“Isn’t it ironic that the person who hurts you most, if you actually forgive them, they’ve caused you to change, theoretically, for the better.”

— Rabbi Yossi Sapirman

This‌ ‌episode discusses:‌ ‌

• Why absolution can be a burden for Jews because our concept of G-d is ineffable
• Why premature forgiveness as promoted by religious doctrine (martyr syndrome) can be a formula for further damage
• How we need to reconstruct the narrative in order to close the chapter on a hurt or betrayal to find value in forgiveness