“There is tremendous power in knowing your worth that no amount of cosmetics and no amount of beauty products and no amount of surgery can replace.”— Adrienne Gold
We are constantly told, and tell each other, that true beauty lies within. Yet, there are inarguable advantages to possessing external beauty. We see this not only in our modern world, but in ancient texts such as Megillat Esther, where the heroine’s attractiveness plays no small role in helping her not only survive, but thrive within the palace of her husband, King Achashverosh.
The darker aspects of her story include sexual coercion and patriarchal exploitation, as the King’s harem of kidnapped virgins are valued for their looks and pressured to please him, visually and otherwise. While the pressures most modern women in the West face aren’t quite as dire, the pressure to be beautiful is a major source of stress — and can lead to serious mental health issues.
This episode of Living Jewishly is an instalment of Crossing the Sea, a podcast about Judaism and mental health. In this episode, Dr. Elliot Malamet sits with Adrienne Gold with Momentum Canada and a former fashion and beauty television personality, to explore the link between physical attractiveness and self worth, the psychology behind the drive for beautification, and how we can extricate ourselves from the beauty trap for good.
“It’s not only disingenuous to equate beauty with virtue, but it’s also so transitory because the standard just keeps shifting.”— Dr. Elliot Malamet
This episode discusses:
- How Esther’s agency and internalization of her worth helped her to become a victor in her story
- The societal equation of physical beauty with inherent morality and virtue, and how language supports this association
- The mixed messaging we receive in society and the importance of finding balance between your inner Esther and Vashti
Highlights:
00:50 Intro
02:06 Adrienne Gold & internalization
06:10 Shifting standards of beauty
07:21 Esther’s agency & knowing your worth
11:25 Modern beauty messaging
14:06 Elliot’s cowboy clothing story
15:37 Beautification aims
18:44 Focus on your soul
21:30 Mixed messaging in society
25:28 Vashti & Esther
28:23 Cancel culture
30:19 Esther: victim or operator?
35:45 Gender stereotypes & beautification
38:38 Escaping the beauty trap
Links:
Momentum Canada
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Shalom!
Wonderful conversation with great points. The main point I’d add to the Esther-Vashti study (from the closing comments) is that Vashti was not “empowered”. She’s not a heroine in any way in this story (from what I’ve studied from the perspective of Torah). If I were to use a modern day description of her it would be “entitled.” She didn’t do anything good. Her rejection of the king’s invitation was full of distain.
For contrast we can look at Hagar. She is often misunderstood and I often saw my students dislike her as a threat to Sarah. Hagar didn’t do evil things even if she and Sarah made mistakes. Hagar merited to have angels come and speak to her.
I hope this comment contributes to the conversation. Thanks for raising the issues. Well done!